March 1, 2004

Dear Journal,

Today was not the best day for me. I went for some testing with the speech therapist and radiologist. They made me do something called a modified barium swallow, and it was not very enjoyable. I had to sit in a special chair and swallow different things coated with barium. First, they had me swallow a little bit of thin barium that looked like a milkshake, but unfortunately for me, it tasted more like chalk and was pretty disgusting. They told me the barium was so they could see my swallowing on the x-ray. I guess the test didn’t last for more than 15 minutes, but it felt like forever. They were changing my position and trying different things so that I wouldn’t get choked and I could maybe swallow different things better. They told me that the reason they changed my position several times was to find out what was causing my swallowing disorder and also what kinds of therapy might help me (Bloom & Ferrand, 1997). I am at the point now where every time I eat or drink, I am wondering if I will get choked and aspirate (which is my new technical word the speech therapist taught me). Today I was just so nervous and wondering what was going to happen. I think my apprehension was the worst thing of the day. Hopefully that was my first and last modified barium swallow.

Until next time,
Mark

May 5, 2005

Dear Journal,

Today was the first time that I have been out to eat since my stroke. My wife finally talked me into it. She said that I need to not be embarrassed about having to do things differently than other people when I eat. I guess she’s right, I just didn’t really want the world to know that I am different now. I have worked for a good while in therapy just to get to this point. It wasn’t too bad I suppose. Not many people were in the restaurant, so I felt more comfortable. I brought my thickener with me and put it in my drink. It is supposed to make my drinks thicker to help stop the liquid from going into my airway. I still can’t get that stuff exactly right, and I don’t care what they tell me, putting that stuff in your drink makes it taste different. Anyway, I just ordered some mashed potatoes because they aren't very hard to swallow and I didn’t want to try anything too difficult. I used some of my compensatory techniques the speech therapist taught me. Mainly I do the head turn because it’s my favorite. I think it’s pretty simple to do and it’s not that noticeable to others. I am really glad I went because now I know that I can, and I kind of felt like I was a little bit closer to the way my life was before. It made my wife really happy, too.   

Happily yours,
Mark

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This page was created by Kristen Sirk, a student at Marshall University, as a requirement for CD 315.

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